The Hunky Munt

So what do Matt Damon, James ‘Dawson’ Van Der Beek and Ryan out of the OC all have in common? Yes, fame, riches, strong masculine jaw lines and little to nil charisma, but they also all bear a more than passing resemblance to the potato. In short, ladies and gentlemen, they are, hunky munts. Huh? I hear you cry. Well, it’s a simple concept really. Take a man who is traditionally desired by women the world over, thus characterised as a ‘hunk’, recognise the spudlike quality of his face, and come to the obvious realisation that this man is in fact quite unattractive, i.e., ‘munted’ and the rest should be self-explanatory. He’s a hunky munt. It’s all a bit emperor’s new clothes really.

The Ultimate Hunky Munt has to be Patrick Swayze. Never before has such a potato-faced munter known such female devotion. I mean, he’s really not attractive at all, but has nonetheless managed to grab the lead in not one, but TWO chick flick weepy girlie classics; his swivelly hips aside, this is literally amazing, when you analyse the spuddy properties of his head. Don’t get me wrong – I think Patrick Swayze is a total dude, but for comedy purposes, rather than loin-burning ones. He’s right on the tip of the hunk meets munt world. Any hunkier, and he’d just be as bland as the other plebeian hunky munts mentioned above. Any more munted and you’d get this:

Les frères Bogdanoff!

And no-one wants that, do they?

EDIT: OK, late additions at the Hunky Munts' Ball: Gavin Henson of rugby and Charlotte Church fame and pants over trousers Superman Dean Cain. Opinion is still divided as to whether Huw Edwards is a Hunk, a Hunky Munt or just a Munt.