It happened one Halloween mwahaha...

This morning, as I was getting ready for work, I suddenly heard this weird rhythmical squeaking noise coming from outside, somewhere in the vicinity of my bedroom window. It was getting more and more frantic, so – a little concerned – I approached the window, wondering whether I dared open it – perhaps a giant squawking bird would fly in and attack me! It is Halloween today, after all…

The squeaking continued, and showed no sign of ceasing… It got more and more frenzied, louder and louder, faster and faster… so, my heart thumping, I flung the window open! EEEK! I jumped out of my skin! Two indeterminate blurred shapes flew past my window and plunged towards the ground below. I heard one heavy thud, then another, milliseconds later. I peered outside. The mysterious dark forms were momentarily still, then darted away in separate directions.

At which point I realised I’d interrupted two squirrels shagging on my window sill. Indeed, having been cut short, one continued to rub himself across the ground as he scurried. (Well, I’m guessing it was a ‘him’, but I accept that this is prejudice on my part. Probably correct, but prejudice nonetheless.)

Nice.

The moral of this tale is, don’t go all ‘awwww they’re sooooo cute’ on squirrels. They’re destructive, lewd vermin. They’re just rats with better fashion sense, you know.